This morning I awakened to the following lyrics running through my spirit: “When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come…” These words clearly describe the position I find myself in at the onset of this new year, 2010.

I first heard this song, “When the Music Fades,” at an Awake America Conference at the Target Center in Minneapolis, MN, as led by Lyndell Cooley, back in the Fall of 1999. Matt Redman, it’s writer, and many others have since made it a familiar worship song to many. As a worshiper, a pianist and vocalist, the song gripped the depths of my heart. I played and sang it over and over for many years. Back then, I actually thought I understood what the lyrics meant. Ten plus years later, I realize how much I had yet to learn about the meaning of these words, and about the true worship Jesus spoke of in John 4:23-24.

Over the course of the past ten+ years, since first hearing the song, I suffered a major car accident and survived, not only the accident, but years of doctoring and dentists. The Lord has moved our family four times. Our biological children have grown from ages 6 and 9, to ages 17 and 20 (we have twin 17-year olds). We traveled to Guatemala and adopted three children in 2002, who have grown from ages 5, 8 & 10, to ages 12, 15 and 17. We spent much of these growing years trying to train up all of our kids for the Lord and His Kingdom purposes, equipping both their natural and spiritual giftings according to His Word and to the leading of Holy Spirit. Our oldest son graduated from high school and technical college with a degree in audio production. He is currently preparing to “leave the nest” and pursue his calling as a professional musician. Within two years, three more will prepare to leave and pursue their callings as professional musicians, graphic designer/artists, photographer, and missions.

As a family, we have ministered at camps and conferences throughout the upper Midwest, and have been involved in worship ministry and/or children’s ministry leadership at four different churches in the midst of our moves. We shared ten Family Destiny Conferences together. We also did a CD project to spontaneously capture our journey as worshipers, musicians, and family. There have been many other significant family, music, and ministry “events;” too many to list for the purposes of this article.

We have tried to be obedient to follow the Lord’s leading in such way that everything we have known and loved, with the exception of our marriage and our children, has come and gone…good friends, homes, church families, jobs, things we loved to do together, music, pets…to name only a few. When we moved to our current location, we were told that faith is spelled R-I-S-K, and that was what we needed to be willing to do, in order to follow the Lord wholeheartedly in His Kingdom purposes for our entire family.

As of July 4, this past summer, 2009, Jaran Family Ministries officially ended: our music and our ministry. It was not at all what I had expected, hoped or dreamed, but we want the Lord’s will, not our own. He was clear that we were to pray over our children, anoint, and release them to do and be all He has purposed and called each of them to. We sold our ministry motor home, exactly when, where, how, and for the exact price the Lord prompted us. Now, at the onset of 2010, we wait on Him to lead and guide us into this next season; particularly for our kids’ individual callings, and His plans and purposes for the arts express’d. I am currently working on a book, entitled, “No More Orphans,” subtitled: “I Am A Good Idea…I Have A Gift Within Me…I Carry Gifts The World Needs.”

I have spent the past twenty years parenting, homeschooling, teaching music, and serving the Lord in children’s/worship/house of prayer/and family ministries. Today I awakened to revisit the lyrics of the song that propelled us through these past ten years up to this juncture in life. I understand the meaning of the words, “When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come,” with very different eyes than I did ten years ago. I desire more deeply than ever to bring Him something of worth that will bless His heart in 2010, so I simply “come.”

“Lord, let everything in this coming year –  in my life, in our marriage, in our family, in the lives of our kids, in this nation, in this generation, and in the Kingdom plans and purposes You desire on Earth as it is in Heaven – be all about You. It’s truly is all about You, Jesus!”

When the Music Fades – Matt Redman
Copyright 1999 Kingsway’s Thankyou Music

When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come;
Longing just to bring something that’s of worth that will bless Your heart.

I’ll bring you more than a song,
For a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within, through the way things appear,
You’re looking into my heart.

I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and its all about You
It’s all about You, Jesus.
I’m sorry, Lord, for the things I’ve made it,
When it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.

King of endless worth, no one could express how much You deserve,
Though I’m weak and poor, all I have is Yours, every single breath.

I’ll bring You more than a song,
For a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within, through the way things appear,
You’re looking into my heart.

I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and it’s all about You,
It’s all about You, Jesus.
I’m sorry, Lord, for the things I’ve made it,
When it’s all about You, it’s all about You, Jesus.