Dialysis day. 15 minutes in & Josiah is already asleep, as I sit in the chair next to him, listening. We all take our masks off except for Josiah; he chooses to keep his on :). There’s a little boy in the room across the hall, about age 4?, also staying at the RMH, with the same dialysis schedule, however, due to his young age, he comes later, leaves earlier, & sobs violently when they have to change his dressing. In the room next to us, another teenage boy about Josiah’s age, is also on the same dialysis schedule. All three are asleep. Sleeping is the best thing to do during dialysis…the best way to cope with four hours of machines & all that’s going on.

I asked the Lord to speak to me this a.m. the moment I awakened. I didn’t want to have any of my own thoughts for this day or this season. What came to mind? Two things. However, before I share, I must preface that my family & I have purposed to pursue Jesus & His Kingdom wholeheartedly. This pursuit involves risk at many levels, including the risk of people thinking we are simply & strangely weird. I dare you to name one Bible story character who didn’t have to deal with that issue :)! (R-i-s-k is also how you spell FAITH in the Kingdom of Heaven). Also before I share, people have been asking the question, ‘how can I/we help?’ Our sister-in-law & her husband, Summer & Jeff Brackhan of Nourishing Souls & Fiddlestick Music, have launched a wonderful website with informative videos & donation links for the next 7 days as a huge blessing to our family/our youngest son, Josiah, on this difficult journey we find ourselves walking.

(See: How Can You Help in the Next 7 Days? under Journal, or Uplift Josiah at http://www.NourishingSouls.com/uplift).  Also check out this link & share this video: http://youtu.be/J5KH8aTQp8w. Thanks for being on this journey with us in prayer!

Back to what came back at me when I asked Him to speak to me:

  1. It is not coincidence that all three of our sons have dealt with kidney-related issues at young ages. Our oldest biological son had kidney stones when he was ten, during a significant juncture in our walk with the Lord (a move choice). Our middle biological son had kidney stones when he was 19 at the beginning of a significant year of new connections for his Kingdom calling. Our youngest adopted son, Josiah, is currently experiencing renal failure, again in the midst of a shift of seasons in our family’s journey with the Lord. (I will address this below).
  2. At exactly this time of the year eight years ago, we were faced with a ‘fork in the road’ (another choice of moves), & if we had listened to a ‘warning dream’ the Lord had given Kevan, instead consulting the counsel of others (regardless of their good intentions or how good our relationships with them were), things would have turned out very differently for our family. Once the decision had been made, the Lord clearly told us not to look back – to put our hand to the plow – but not looking back has been one of the most challenging aspects of this season (I will also address this further below).

I will begin with the kidney-related issues. Many years ago I was given a plaque with my name on it: ‘Tammy’ & the words, “Seeker of Truth.” I also have John 4:23-24 etched deeply in my spirit, as a worshiper in Spirit & in Truth. About two years ago, the Lord clearly asked me what my name was (in Spanish :), prompting me to search it out in depth. One cannot seek out Truth without searching the Scriptures purposefully & seeking His Spirit intimately. Along the journey of wholehearted pursuit, the spiritual gifts found in 1 Cor. 12, Rom. 12, Eph. 4, & 1 Peter 4, have manifested in our lives, because we believe in the inherency of Scripture (2 Timothy 3:16), that God is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow, & that the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is alive today in those of us who seek first His Kingdom & His righteousness (Rom. 8:11).

The prophetic is one of my spiritual giftings as a psalmist, therefore, I looked up the prophetic significance of the kidneys at the onset of Josiah’s journey: ‘Spirit of Truth. Lack of vitamin C. Dehydration. Witchcraft curses. Not properly discerning spirits or filtering wrong teachings.’ Josiah’s kidneys never grew past the age of 1-2, several years prior to our adopting him at age 5. I don’t have enough revelation at the current moment to share specifics, except that I/we believe the shed blood of Jesus prevails over all curses (Gal. 3:13), & that the gift of discerning of spirits is a necessary gift in these times we are currently living in. I am prompted to diligently seek His heart regarding the kidneys, my piano psalming, & His supernatural healing (which I/we also believe manifests today because of His shed blood; Isaiah 53:5). I will share by His leading when I have more discernment & revelation.

Now for the warning dream. If Joseph had not listened to his warning dreams, he would never have married Mary, nor would Jesus have been spared from the enemy’s destruction of the boys, ages two & under, at the hands of Herod. We are living in the days of Joel 2. The Lord continues to speak in dreams & visions, as much as He speaks through His Word & through His Spirit, if anything, increasingly so by His Spirit. Our journey requires us to pursue Holy Spirit intimately for discernment/confirmation between flesh, Satan/his kingdom of demonic darkness – the source of all infirmities/poverty/death, & being led by His Spirit, because Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (1 John 3:8). If we mess up purposefully or accidentally, praise the Lord for the age of forgiveness & grace we live in!

We learned a valuable lesson eight years ago, as much as we dearly love all of the people we consulted at our juncture. The dream Kevan received has played out to the very detail, as has a vision the Lord gave Joci shortly after we moved here. The Lord has also turned much of what the enemy meant for harm in our journey to good on behalf of our children. (Our Heavenly Father simply does that because He is always good & always has good plans for us, regardless of the choices we make, as long as our hearts remain humble & teachable.) Kevan & I are still waiting for years of awesome prophetic promises & inheritance Scriptures to manifest in our reality – for Him to turn our season of the warning dream/wilderness to good (the end of the dream was not revealed). We wait in expectation for ‘suddenlies,’ just like Joseph, Esther, Daniel, Job, David, Saul, & many other examples in Scripture. I recently had another dream He just brought to mind, where the Lion of the Tribe of Judah does what only He can on behalf of our family: our position is to rest & watch Him work.

Josiah’s journey, as does all of our journeys, includes watching his Heavenly Father orchestrate things to good on Josiah’s behalf. I’m/we’re fully expecting the supernatural miraculous in this somehow, someway. Kevan & I know that as we move forward in life together in our latter years – our next 32 years of married life together 🙂 – (we have a promise that our latter will be greater than our former :), we will pay extremely close attention to the dreams, visions, Spirit-led promptings, & Scriptural/Spirit-led words we know we have personally received from the Lord, relying on our three-stranded cord that cannot easily be broken (Ecc. 4:12) because of our covenant with Him & with one another – to confirm the discernment/revelation/direction. That is our plumb line as we continue to have teachable hearts in pursuit of His Kingdom come & His will be done, on Earth, in our lives & in the lives of those who come across our path, as it is in Heaven.

In the meantime, we end today’s dialysis with vomiting 🙁